Monthly Archives: February 2016

The decay of a marriage

My wife admitted to wanting to divorce before moving to Our current home 6 years ago. She wished she had divorced me prior to moving because of me being mad at her over finance mistakes she had made over ignoring finances.We discussed years earlier that we were more than tied with marriage but with the business and until the business was gone we could not truly divorce.

The house in new house was already commissioned to be built to hold us and the 1200 sq ft warehouse we had for the business in the new basement of our house. It would save money in the business and so the move proceeded. My wife admits to crying daily for months after the move. It was not until 5 years later she ever said she finally feel like this was home. She admits she loved the Old house best and state it was in house most of all and was happy there. I suspect she wished she could have divorced then and gone for the house then and had cash from my inheritance. I inherited a very large sum of money which was lost leaving the state and house we had as well as clearing out debts. She could have been and been done with me back then.
She is upset about her lost opportunity and proceeds to do as little as possible to ensure the shutdown of the business. Its demise means freedom for herself. I however have vowed divorce was not a answer when we were married by her request as a secondary marriage vow. She never made the agreement in return. She releases me from this obligation in hopes of obtaining a divorce. I threaten that bankruptcy would be a sure reason for divorce for me.

To her disappointment I did not file for divorce when we were forced into bankruptcy when the business failed. However I had requested repeatedly for her to get sinuses checked. She claims fear of surgery prevented her from even researching it. I in frustration began sleeping in basement to sleep at night. I found the ability to sleep at night in quiet and continued to sleep downstairs in the unfinished basement. Initially it was only after she fell asleep and we still had time together.

Disorder in her housekeeping, regular business travel to Oregon and jealousy over friends were points of conflict. It was leading me to sleep regularly in the basement and stop spending evenings together before bed. Divorce was not discussed until after My wife stated that she “thinks there is no long time hope for marriage” and asks what I really think. My response was to agree. That gave her hope that divorce is feasible and within reach which she has wanted since we moved.

She held out on divorce talk because of tax issues that needed to be resolved which she would be liable for. She held out until the last of the tax issues are resolved almost 2 years later. She plans her divorce filing to coincide with the last tax payment I would be making. During this time none of her wages from work were asked to be used for family expenses.

As her day approached to freedom she worked on her future life objectives. She has proceeded with surgery for her sinuses. This is years of her planning coming to fruition. She claims to have to leave me because she loves me so much and does not want to get her hopes up again. But is seem contradictory to love someone so much but not willing to help them sleep by seeing a doctor. She is very messy in her personal space. She loved me so much as to not willing to try to clean up after herself. She loved me so much that when asked if I would miss anything after a divorce and she could not answer that I would. If I would miss anything that it clearly that she tried very little to influence my life. I know I will miss the money I could have spent on my children that will have to go to support her new home.

The divorce is what she has plotted for for years. Taking every benefit she can along the way and deliberately making sure she did not encourage the marriage to get better while keeping up appearances of a civil marriage. She can without conscience or even a filing for divorce talk about her new home she is shopping for, buy furniture and appliances for her new house and take the children on trips to shop for a house and furnishings. She has even asked for my help to move the items purchased into the basement. I do not see much difference from that and dating for a new spouse and brining the new person home to meet the family.

We tried marriage counseling right after the bankruptcy. From marriage counseling I got an apology for what she had done bar all those years in the marriage and how she was not a good wife. However, apologies with no actual change in behavior are strategic moves to lead me on until the time was right to file HER divorce.

I am sick and tired of being taken for the fool. I have been led along for years and picked up any slack in household chores and maintenance, always seeing to things that needed my care. I had not given up on the marriage, though late January 2016 She admits she gave up on this marriage. She admitted to giving up on the business, she admitted to a whole host of bad behavior and admitted s to her passive aggressiveness. But most important she admitted to giving up on me.

Now to be fair; I have to semi that 10 years ago I had some gay encounters with other men. I had fully disclosed this to my wife when she saw an questionable email. We had recently at that time had our 4th child and I had already felt very deserted by her in the relationship. We had had our issues throughout the marriage. I began to realize that that time that the only reason a woman marries it to get financial support for HER children. Women only want money, a worker to care for her home and a sperm donor. I had been relegated to just that. However my state had then further been reduced to her being suspicious of me having any friends male or female.

For over 13 years I have stuck around when I have felt un appreciated, un loved and used only to get what she wanted. I was only a means to her end which was to have her kids. She wanted only them, never me. I was the vehicle for her goals. This was recently revealed to me when she demanded the $2500 a month she needed to support her in her own home after the divorce. When challenged she reveals her real motive. “Then I will go for full custody”. She never wanted me around even the last 10 years. I was to be the work horse for her ambitions. She did not leave me then, because she saw a man willing to continue to be the slave for her needs. I was a good asset still. However when the economy turned bad, business went sour and her home went on the market for sale. She then realized she should break the ties. However she was sunk in debt and trapped. Had she only left earlier.

My suspicions were confirmed last fall when I was asked to read a blog about a gay man who had a healthy relationship with his wife and a family. She was required to read this blog as part of a family class she was taking. I read his blog and my wife asked me if I thought that that was true and possible to have a healthy relationship with a money even if a man saw men as attractive. I agreed a man could and that we could. She confirmed that she had given up years ago because others kept telling her it was not possible. My suspicions were confirmed that she had given up on me and had been looking for an escape a decade earlier. Using me until I could be disposed of was her plan all along. If I had been loved at all there would be evidence of that. If I had been disabled who knows if things would have been any different except society frowns on a wife leaving a disabled spouse. However if your spouse is gay Christian people are the quickest to cast them aside and to virtually stone them to death. The funny thing about so called Christianity is that Christians use Judaism to justify their bad behavior just as the Jew used it to crucify Jesus Christ himself to which they choose to ignore his actual teachings. That leaves most Christians to be just half baked Jews who felt their messiah came and failed since they really don’t want to believe christs teachings and that he came to do away with the old law. They hold to the old law when it suits them.

I have been duped for years and finally figured it out. Really it was quite elementary deductions I had missed all those years.

Why women suck

I must start by saying that not all women fall into the category of a sucky person. However the more women I get to know the more I see a very manipulative gender who claim to be suppressed but have throughout the ages have found out how to control a large part of mankind through subversive methods. Recently the need for power and control was wooed many women out into the open. No longer needing to be subversive and manipulate men to have power but can outright take the power they feel they deserve.

This blog will focus on my own experiences of female interactions and how after 4 kids and almost 20 years of marriage I realize how I have been duped. I come from a traditionally raised background of conservative Mormonism and a large family of 8 kids. I was the youngest and had 3 siblings with 7 children old enough to be my own parents. I was 42 nieces and nephews being raised nearly my own age. I saw the interactions of their marriages. I myself having a high functioning autism have a magnificent memory and capability to recall fine details and have made a career of solving problems and being able to see solutions easily though logic. Logic that would blow no me to emotional torture and manipulation. I would be able to easily be swayed by my upbringing of eternal marriage and that through an eternal perspective I had a greater goal to work through problems. I was taught through 3 hrs of church and church classes a week to honor your wife, help and serve your wife and without her you can never reach mans greatest potential of becoming a god under out fatherly gods rule.

Thus it was imperative to do whatever was necessary to keep your relationship healthy. HOWEVER. I realized later in life this is hogwash. A plan concocted by women to keep their men in line. The best Mormon men are all pussy whipped and though to the outside world. It looks like the Mormon women are held down and not allowed authority, they indeed really “wear the pants” in the church and their homes.

Why would a women really want to take on the full role of the priesthood or head of household. Why do all that work when you can control the drone MAN into doing the work and doing what the women wants. If the women is good enough she can have her cake and eat it too.  This has been how women have controlled men and enjoyed their personal lifestyle. Though women choose their life style individually. Whether is be to scrapbook, leisure time, beautifying themselves, taking kids to park and enjoying childhood. It is their choice and as most women agree their RIGHT as women. Though I doubt many women will admit that they get the best end of the deal if they are not required to work. Women in general do get to enjoy statistically longer life and a lower level of stress than their male counterparts.

Men over the years have protested too little. They are so driven by their need for sex that they will do anything for a women who meets his usually small need for a regular ego boost. They have coined a few phrases such as the ball and chain which truly classifies marriage.

Take a good look at modern marriages in western society. Marriages is all about the bride. It’s her day. Rarely is the groom even discussed of involved in this special day. After watching every episode of David Tutera’s my fair wedding TV show with my daughters. I was disgusted at how little the groom had to do with anything but show up. My own daughters caught up in the hoopla talked of their wedding. I was quick to correct them that the wedding was unimportant. Who they were marrying and why was paramount. I told them there was to be no more talk of a wedding day unless first they could discuss the person they would marry, why the traights they wanted were important and what they were going to do to contribute to the marriage. That ended all discussion. Who wants to talk of reality when you can have your dreams. Disney sells the lie the best of life as a Princess. The modern woman is entitled, selfish, beautiful and to be worshipped. Anything less is unacceptable. Sadly enough men have given in to this. Mothers and fathers have raised daughters to be useless creatures without ambition except to trap a man and live happily ever after. For Mormon women to live forever with their man. And if they work it right, that man will be under their spell of control for eternity to make their life easy.

I however am sick and tired of being marriage to a lazy selfish woman who has ever since our first born child made it her job to do whatever she wanted, serving only her own needs and the needs of the children she wanted with complete disregard to the person who made her life easy and possible. My marriage is ending and the demands for money has begun. More than even is in the current budgets. I was TOLD I can just work harder to meet her demand so she could have her own home. This coming from a wife who spent the last 3 years working with a personal alotment of family money equal to her own full salary. i realize she had been planning the divorce for years and positioning herself to ditch me when in her best interest and be able to get the financial support she needed. Secretly plotting, passive agressively keeping her man plodding along paying down obligations incurred over economic downturns. Pushing her man away just enough to get her space and keep him out of the way but close enough to keep him paying. She used his dedication to the children to manipulate him for the children’s benefit while gaining her independence before the big power grab.

I intend to discuss my experiences through divorce proceedings as I watch what was just recently told to me as “I am divorcing you because I love you so much” turn to what I expect to be the reality. The truth of never loving me expect loving what I could give to her. The woman wants praise, titilation and money. Whether deserved or not. If you do not pay homage to the vagina and a women’s emotional demands she is quick to bite the hand that feeds her and demand all that the man has as punishment for his treachery. This is how the western world works. She gets what she wants and continues to do so even after no longer having to provide anything in return to the man but scorn. Why? Because male judges controlled by women made it so, politicians who were male made it so. Why? So they would not get the same punishment.

Marriage to women is like belonging to a brutal gang. Mess with the boss and you will get pummeled. If any other gang members don’t cover up and protect the boss then then will get pummeled to. Women are the bosses and they need to be overthrown.

Ever wonder why more and more men are turning gay. Because they cannot fathom a relationship with a woman.  Men’s relationships are most often or greater equality than a male women relationship. Why do lesbian relationships always have a masculine women? Because women are overlords by nature either direct or indirect and want to be in control. However the butchest of women who want public control are still manipulated by their submissive counterpart.