Author Archives: pw

Dealing with Women – General Comment/Observations

I have since my divorce had a hard time re-connecting to women on almost any level.  It started with a mother who I felt did not connect with me and I grew up not relating well to women or as some men are totally enthralled with their breasts and need their validation.  Instead I learned to be independent enough to be free of the constraints which would have otherwise made me feed on the abuse that is womanhood they dish out to men.  The wife of 20+ years only fueled my theories and the women I dated since.  I am happy to have an independence and a more healthy need to connect with an equal. Yes I am choosing a man to fill that companionship. I can treat a man as an equal in so many ways yet we can be support for each other.  I know the scenarios I propose in my articles are unique to me and that the role reversal can flip genders.  However the main aspect that women are more emotional by nature is fairly constant and that they use and learn how to manipulate emotionally because of it.  This is a hardship to men as they tend to be logical and can be gullible when emotions are on the line. I believe women learn this through society and use it to their advantage.  As men grow out of their need for a woman and society stops pushing men into marriage as has already occurred, women are going to left fighting for a place in society on a new playing field. Disadvantaged by their emotions and finding less who can be manipulated by their tactics.  This is an area where the Gay men of the world can help our straight friends learn to thwart their manipulative partners.

As I travel and see families with their children, all too often I see the dad on adventure outings on top of things, often alone without mom but if mom is present she is barely present.  This frustrates me as I see these women who would rather be getting their nails done then being a participant in the family.  Yes I see some great moms too, on top of things and an active participant but it is so rare. I can see why families are falling apart as more and more women take the entitled role and focus more on themself.  Not here is a lashing to the gay men who do the same.  Yes they too can be as guilty as the women. Becoming totally self absorbed and not living a life learning what it is like to serve others such as a dedicated mother and father would. Now not everyone fits this scenario but these are generalizations that can fit a general populous.

So your son is gay and you are mormon?

I was asked if I could talk to a Mormon dad dealing with this news from his son. This was my long text reply of Yes, I would talk to him.  I am adding it here because it may be helpful to others.

I have felt that I can be mormon in some ways but not fully. I found through my struggles that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is in the church but the church itself is not the gospel of christ but a man made program to help people progress to being better christlike people. If we stay focused on loving all and forgiving all then we are on the right path. You can be gay and christlike. Sexuality is not the key but how you love.

The gay culture can be selfish and base. Very un christ like. The decision is to be happy. God said that man is to have joy. Driving young men to suicide definitely is the wrong path, the road to continually promiscuity is not good either. I believe there is a middle road. The church likely will never accept anything less than abstinence but that puts the whole focus on sex. Relationships are not about sex. Relationships are bigger than the bedroom. Ask any straight guy staying married without sex why. Its about love.

I am a Mormon who knew I was gay at 8 yrs old. Never acted sexually with anyone till 25 and that was after a temple marriage and with wife. No contact with men till 35. I was an avid churchgoer, tithe paying mormon till 36. I am from a family of 8. My family now knows my orientation and I do not feel rejected but i don’t throw it in their face either.

I came to terms first I had to love me. We are taught god loves us but when you do not love yourself. You cannot process that a god or anyone can love you. Until we can accept ourselves we will dip into self demeaning behavior, hate ourselves and risk never finding acceptance. No amount of abstinence fixes the self loathing. It is aggravated by the church and its people. That is why we pull away from it.

Everyone needs love, intimacy. It is a basic human need. Deprivation is not good for anyone.  I am not the fairy gay dad but the guy who can attend church and blend in and know the gospel well, the people and the culture well. I think it may help to chat.

Want to comment about? Comment below for true questions.  If your comment is not helpful to others or a question it will not be accepted here!

The Garden of Eden

The Garden of Eden

I find it curious that the many christian and jewish religions are the strongest supporters of women. Many other faiths are much more undermining of women. I believe this comes from an initial misinterpretation of the Jewish records which make up the bible itself. The Jewish faith is matriarchal not patriarchal to start with. This point alone is very important in understanding the female manipulation of the scriptures. Women have from the biginning have alays had power to manipulate while keeping them-self and their involvement hidden by design.

The bible records that Adam though created first was alone in the Garden of Eden and woman (Eve) was created afterwards as a help-mate and companion for him. The scenario of how Eve was tempted and beguiled by a serpent to partake of the forbidden fruit which then lead to their exile from the garden. Can you spot the fallacy in this scenario? My own personal experiences and Christianity’s own doctrine of making the woman out to be a forbidden fruit to man explains it all. Christianity only allows a man to partake of the fruit of a woman with an exception of marriage a binding element. This is a device designed by the matriarchal order to preserve their real dominance over man.

The reality of the woman being the forbidden fruit goes back to Adam. Eve herself is the forbidden fruit. Adam was forbidden to partake of the fruit which was Eve. She was a temptress in the garden, she is evil incarnate which existed beyond even Gods control. Gods command to not partake of her was well given. Adam however, having partaken of her fruit and thus creating a generation of fallen beings, stems from Adam’s sexual intercourse with evil itself. God had to exile them both as he had partaken of evil. The scriptures tell of mans fallen state and a need to be saved from Adams transgressions. The transgression was Eve, She is the Apple, She is the evil partaking, She is the the snake… the temptress.

When Adam was exiled from the Garden of Eden he was told the earth would be cursed for his sake and that he would be made to toil for his existence; hat the earth would bring forth weeds, thorns and thistle to torment man. Sound more like a misinterpretation and likely intentional by the author, a matriarchal faith secretly run by women (Judaism). Eve herself and woman kind were to be the torment for man and has proven that throughout time. Other cultures and faiths do not empower the female and perpetuate the evil and torment of mankind like the Judeo-Christian religions do. Empowering women bring more sorrow and torment for all. “There is no fury like a woman” is such a true statement. The most evil and kniving in this world are those who can do their evil with cunning, secrecy and undermined tactics disguised as good and innocence. Nothing defines women more with their mystery of mind, plotting and vengeance.

Some think is is odd that women are so vacant from the Bible, why they are mentioned so little. I do not find this odd. Evil prefers dark places, evil does not wish to be revealed. There are sufficient places where women are mentioned and they all involve manipulation of the man and weakness of man. These exploits document women’s ultimate control and mens inability to overcome them. Man was truly cursed by her presence and existence. Whey else is she void from Gods world. Why does God and the records of him even hide the existence of such a gender in his world if he is a benefit to be treasured and cherished.

Women have the power to make or break a man from the day they are born to the day they die. Their methods are great and varied. Their main method is to instill insecurities to feed the woman’s need to have her insecurities met and be worshipped. Like a God herself, the temptress seeks her subjects to worship her. She works to bind boys and mens hearts to her so they never can find their own worth and happiness. Fortunately not all men succumb to her power. Some women fail to instill that binding component at birth by rejecting her child. Though this failure may not endear the male completely to her it can still work to her advantage buy continually withholding acceptance of the child through rearing. This sometimes helps to motivate the boy through manhood to work for acceptance, often motivating him in general. Without the power to cut off his maternal acceptance, man never truly escapes the need to gain female acceptance.

Christianity fights against the tide of the gay men for good reason. The gay culture undermines female control. The gay man is a support movement empowering men to be independent of the female counterpart. To find satisfaction in either dismissing the woman altogether for independence or substituting it with a false replacement of male pseudo-femininity and self validation.

Thank you for not playing mind games

Thank you for not playing mind games was a compliment I received from my Ex! It has been 7months since the divorce was final and 1.5 months since she moved out to her own home and we have spoken little since then.  I have avoided her like the plague and think very poorly of her.  I have tried hard to keep my thoughts to myself and not let the kids know how I feel their mother is the slime ball of the world and a low life for how she has treated me.  I was taken back by her compliment. She said she had a friend who is going through divorce and her husband played mind games with her.  Told her how things could work out and he loved her only to get sex yet not really have his heart in their relationship.  My Thank you was because of how I was honest and did not play those kind of mind games with her.

I kept as quiet as I could.  Simply told her that she knew I was honest to a fault and of course I was honest.  I am writing this at 3 AM the next morning thinking of this encounter with her. Pondering why it was so easy to be honest.  It became very apparent to me.  She made it so easy.  She was so filthy when at the house, such a pig, in capable of cleaning up after herself, self absorbed in herself, selfish to the core.  Her negligence to me and the kids, her blatant ability to take help from others without guilt and be as lazy as possible. How accepting of others effort for her sake while she sat on her butt and watched TV, sulked and was inefficient.  She made the choice a clear and easy one.  Who as a husband would have decided anything else.  She was hideous physically to look at and did not care for hr appearance. She cleanliness in her home was bad and unappealing. What did she offer to make me want anything else but to get away from her.  How could she have thought that she could be wanted.  I do not know this mystery friend but I think I know who it is.  I think it may be a common friend we share.  If it who I think it is.  Then this women is a beautiful women who is just self absorbed with herself.  A person who has some attractive qualities would make a husband question his desire for someone with qualities of interest.  Yes her husband may be his priorities mixed up when she abuses him yet attracts him at the same time.  It is hard to leave your beautiful slayer who had bewitch you into loving her yet hurt you at the same time.  I never had this issue.

I can never think of a single quality my wife possesses. When she asked me if I thought our marriage had any hope over a year ago before she filed for divorce.  I could not think of a SINGLE thing she did for me.  Could not fathom any benefit she created in my life.  I have since learned that the only benefit she had was to not drain me financially post divorce by her greed.  A quality which she still did not have but was a benefit I received prior to divorce.  I have yet to miss her in any way. When I have to go out of town and the kids must stay with her, I suppose $250 a day in baby sitting cost for the 2 kids she watches is high and over minimum wage and over babysitting rates.  A nanny in my own home would be cheaper and likely be more engaging with the kids.

The more I think of it. I truly cannot think of a single think she adds to my life and this has been how it was for many years.  Of course it was easy to be honest and not play mind games.  I want to compliment her on the next conversation and offer the praise back to her. I want her to know that it is all to her own credit that I was honest and straight forward.  She deserved all the honesty she got.  She was so horribly bad that of course I never offered her a shred of hope back.  It was easy for her to handle and know it was over because of her own doing.  How bad of me to think I had any credit for this.  When someone is as her, it makes a decision easy. After all is said and done. I still cannot miss her. I cannot imagine having her back. I am blessed to have her out of my life.

Right after she moved out, I had a lot of work to earn the needed money to pay the high support payments I owe her.  I was gone from my home for 3.5 weeks straight.  My 20 yr old son lived in the home alone during that time.  His 2 younger siblings would be there for 3-4 hrs a day after school having snacks an hanging out.  One sibling in the morning would have breakfast before school daily.  With all these young kids; one may think the house would have gotten in bad shape.  3 young children wth no older adult looking after things.  WOW was I shocked when I came home. Yes the counter need wiping. Yes the house had not been dusted but there was no pile of dishes.  No casserole dishes covered in caked on food, no cookie trays soaking, no stack of dishes filling both sides of the sink.  Just counters needing wiped and a floor that could be swept.  Nothing bad. But WOW, it was so much better than the times I came home and the Ex-wife had been there. The children were world better than her.  There were no stacks of laundry, the Master bathroom was clean as I left it.  The toilets cleaner than ever. WOW; with a women gone from the house men can finally realize how much a vagina makes a disaster of a toilet.  Women want to blame men for leaving the seat up but holy cow can a women make the most disgusting of messes in a toilet.  No red and black streaks in the toilet to clean off, no scum in the shower. No nest of wadded hair on the shower walls, no white coating from the powder she used to use in copious amounts everywhere. No trash on the counters, no trash by the places she sat. No plastic bag hanging from drawer knobs since was too lazy to walk to the trash can, No trash on top of the counter instead of the trash bag on the knob because she is too lazy to put the trash in a sack.

Everything was as I had left things. Yes there were things out of place, some messes and unfinished projects from moving back in after she left.  But I was shocked at how things could stay the same in 3.5 weeks. You may be thinking somehow the kids cleaned, the 20 yr old son must have made a big clean up for Dad before he returned!  No. he had just cleaned up after himself. He had even forgotten to dump the household trash each week. Yet the house did not stink and the messes were so easily contained.  Could it be that 1 person really could be that bad. The refrigerator was still clean except the milk container shelf needed wiping.  I could still see the glass of the shelves in the fridge.  There was no rotted food in the drawers or left over containers molding in the fridge. Life had truly gotten better by her departure. And here I am being thanked.  I get the credit for being honest and not giving her false hopes that there was something left in the marriage to stay for, She made it so easy. It will take more time I suppose until real life kicks in for her. For her to realize what benefits I may have been in her life.  She talked of how she if fighting the home warranty people to get the A/C fixed and how costly it is to fix. She learned how costly it is to have drains fixed when the house was not draining right. She had only be gone 1.5 months. She has only begun to try out home ownership herself. She is only begin to find out what freedom is. I can only hope she can see I was a benefit only to vindicate me when she sees what she had and lost. But in no way would I want it any other way.

In after thought, I have tried to think of the intangible things I miss of her. A smile, hug, thank you or a feeling of desire or appreciation.  But none can be missed when never offered and received. You cannot miss a black hole.  You can only appreciate the life that is not been sucked away.

This woman sucks so bad, I can never miss her. Hell even if she was good at 1 thing that benefited me, it would have been something.  This is why I think women suck.

Anything but logic

Today it was being discussed with the kids how my soon to be exwife is not only getting 1 kitten which the older daughter fostered from a stray cat. But now a 2nd kitten is being purchased so both daughters can have their own cat. Why? 

Because when my wife was going through her parents divorce as a teen her mom let her sister have an indoor dog. She had always wanted one and never got a dog of her own. She felt it was unfair. As a background the family always had plenty of dogs and cats on the ranch, just no specific indoor pets. 

So because she is jealous of her sister and felt he needed her own dog she is getting another cat. We already have 2 and now post divorce will be caring for 4 cats. Why don’t they take the existing cats? Because the current cats are outdoor/garage cats and they want their i.e. spoiled flea free indoor cat so they are leaving the cats to get 2 more. Makes no sense to me. The kids will live with me and the two cats half time, they will get dropped off here every day to catch school bus. They will return here everyday after school.  They get the cats they have. When my wife said the other daughter wanted the kitten that younger daughter stated it did not but that mom was pushing for a 2nd cat.  What is going on is my wife is reliving and recreating her childhood divorce by pushing stuff onto the kids. It is my wife who needs to go to counseling.

As the day goes on she announces to our 11 yr old son that she approves of him playing games depicting shooting people. This has been a rule we have not allowed with any prior children. She says she thinks he is old enough. No consulting with me. We’re still married and living in the same house. She does this and shortly after is watching the Castle TV show which depicted a person, potentially a parent who gets torched while tied up in the trunk of their car by a sadistic person. These kind of violent shows has also been a point of conflict. She has watched these for a few years and the shows get worse and worse. Our children were raised with no broadcast tv for 15 years and in the past 5 she started more and more watching shows via the Internet as a couple we agreed on providing only uplifting media for the kids. She has undermined some of this family though mainly the daughters. The oldest is allowed to watch all kinds of horror movies and the youngest daughter is the one who watches the violent shows with her mom. I truly hope I can redirect the kids when they can get away from the trash for 2 weeks a month with me. I can successfully redirect the kids to good activities when I am around and they prefer it. The 2 boys will not participate in the tv shows at all by their own choice.

Of al the quality traits I saw and chose in my wife, they have all but disappeared. I no longer even see the person I chose. The person who I put up with for the kids sake disgusts me and I see her as a threat to a quality upbringing I hoped for my kids. I don’t fear for their physical safety with her but worried her twisted mind will do harm mentally.

It’s tough seeing someone like my wife who has no ability to process logic, consistency and wisdom at all.

#parenttapes #nologic #womencantthink #womensuck #badparenting #killyourtv #notelevision

The Empty Apology

Today as my wife and estranged wife were on a drive she offered an apology for not being a good wife for me. This caused me to choke up not because I felt her sentiment but because the divorce in process by her hand is not what I wanted. Granted I am sick and tired of being taken for granted. Tired of her being a messy pig who does as little as possible to co parent but would rather be the kids friends. What I felt was the utter sadness for what is about to happen to the kids. I am going for split custody to try to keep the family house, keep them in their same school and friends. The real disaster will happen as my earning potential is stripped to pay for a selfish woman who wants her own place and be free of any obligation of a husband but with all the benefits.  She wants to be friends and have me help her, consult her and still be her friend. She currently has taken about every Liberty she can in this marriage and abused it already but now she will kill the sacred cow so she can have her “fair share” which she does not deserve but our crooked laws based on old traditions screwed the men for the bitches benefit. Why? Because the bitch was the one who was going to run the family and keep things together while the wayward husband did his thing and was made to pay. But what happens when the bitch is the shitty parent and wants the kids for the money. What if the bitch does not run the house of family affairs and see everyone’s need is met. The courts are blind to Justice in this country. There is no such thing as justice as long as biased lawyers are judging. The system automatically serves the bitch and fucks the dad over. 

In my case this will cause a brutal blow to the families foundation. It will disservice the children immensely but making sure they are ignored and prevent them from having the opportunities in life they would have had if the parents were both thinking of them. 

My wife has offered many apologies over the years of being a bad wife and companion to me. But an apology has more aspects than just the apology. A real apology has like the act of repentance a component of restitution when possible and a change of action. You cannot apologize for an action and then keep doing tha act to which you apologize. Doing so just makes the offender a hippocrite. So why does someone offer empty apologies over and over. Either they are just as dumb as a rock or strategically manipulating the other party hoping they are as dumb as a rock to accept such apology as valid. There lies the reason for my divorce. I am not as dumb as a rock though I take the empty apology and accept it at face value but offer no term of accepting it. I just listen to it. To which end I have continue my contempt for her waiting for the next part of the apology to materialize. Waiting for the change of behavior to manifest itself. To my dismay, I have never in 20 years seen a change of behavior that shows any reinforcement that she meant her apology. What I have seen is her taking more and more liberties to the opposite and giving her more and more to apologize for. In the end her final move. She feels she can no longer take any more liberties and advantage unless she leaves and takes everything she can including her children’s rights to their fathers providing, unjust portion of the fathers income and rights to the children’s themself Andrade to provide nothing to the father, not even consideration. He is to be sacrificed for her selfish purposes. All because she has and is a cunt. The only thing that women have to their advantage. If GOD has a wife I can only imagine what a bitch she is to have encouraged him to make more of them. We can tell from the bible Eve was an afterthought and likely because his bitch had an issue with the situation.

The Dreaded Mother In Law

Last night I had a long chat with my wife discussing our prior moves for work and homes and recalling why we moved and what we recall were our motives.  The biggest question why why we recall our first move away from both of our families to Oregon where we had no family and begin a trend of 20 years distanced from family.

I myself only had cousins and a brother in the area we were married though her family was all in Utah.  I recalled the possible job opportunity that made us look at Oregon and how we both thought it pretty an a good place.  I mainly recall how I thought it was important for my Wife to get away from her controlling and manipulative mother for her own mental benefit.  Her mother was never pleased with my wife growing up and my wife would weekly have us spend the weekend in her small hometown and she would clean her moms house and what seemed like seek her mothers constant approval. My wife recalled that she new I wanted to get her away from her mother in law.

Every year almost a trek back to her hometown to visit was made and this was fine though I would never put my family as a priority.  Over the years I felt like my family never cared for me since they never reached out to me. To be fair I had not done much in return.  7 years ago when we started planning our departure from Oregon we were considering lots of placed to relocate.  I offered my wife the opportunity to move back to Utah.  I was serious and he said no because “I don’t want to live that close to my mother”.  I knew my wife had gained independence. She was finally able to stand up to her mother when she needed to and I was happy for her.  This however showed me that distance was needed to maintain that strength.  Utah was no longer considered as an option which led us 2 states away in another direction.

As I contemplate where I may live in the future, I have reconnected with my family and miss that I have no connections. I thought of moving back near them and wanted to recount why I did not sooner.  I asked my wife last night why she did not want to move to Utah and got a different response.  She said they she thought I was asking just to humor her and that I asked only knowing she would say no.  She said that our marriage would have ended sooner had we moved near her mother due to the animosity her and I have have towards each other.  This came as a surprise.  I know I don’t like her but I have never had a fight or disagreement with her in person.  I have though her selfish, unfeeling and mean against my wife and told my kids and wife when I saw injustices occurring against our family.  Though I don’t like her I never would have considered it animosity.  This means that her comment is what her MOTHER feels about me.  If animosity would have caused the end of the divorce then it is her mothers animosity that would have ended the marriage.

The sheer thought that it is her mothers proximity that would have caused and end of our marriage PROVES that her mother has been an evil and negative force in her life. I can rest my mind knowing what I suspected all long that it was her mother that was divorcing me.  Her mother divorced my wife father in her teens and was such a bitch that her parents could never be in the same room together.  One of my wife brothers left their own wedding without notice to avoid the parents fighting and another eloped.  This women over the years has seemingly calmed down but the reality has been fueling the fires in my wife to take advantage of me and get what she wants.  This entitled attitude and selfishness to get what they want without concern for the children or the family as a whole is why women suck.  This is a growing attitude and fostered and spread like a disease by women to the next generation and the grapevine of women social outlets.

In retrospect I wish I had never left where we were living.  The demise of our marriage would have come quickly and most likely before 4 children were born had we stayed.  If the Mother in Law was destined from the beginning to destroy he marriage then it should have best happened fast and early.  I at least would have had family support and not lost so many years of my life tying to salvage a doomed relationship from the start.  I have lived the typical Ball and chain marriage carrying the ball of depressed selfish wife jealous of everything she did not have and unhappy to an end to which I could not solve for her.

Surprise: You cannot pay for a lawyer – Marriage insurance

I was served my divorce papers by my wife.  I was fortunate to have had some clients pre-pay for some which gave me some extra money.  Usually I would never have much extra money.  For 20 years of marriage I have been the sole provider and even with my wife having a full time job. I have not asked her to pay for the basic expenses of the house.  She only had to pay for her gas to get to work.  She used to manage the family and business finances and knew how hard I work for what we had.  Yet she was never satisfied and hated having to work with me over spending.  I thought letting her have her own money would make her happy.

My wife plotting divorce and how to take advantage of me has come to a head.  Her filling was somewhat of a surprise.  I knew she was taking a divorce class from a local church and talked to a lawyer.  I knew she had lied to her Dad about our family finances claiming I was not paying for the basics to get him to give her money for divorce.  I did not know how much money he gave her or how much the a lawyer was going to cost.  When I was served the divorce papers and had to have a lawyer respond to the papers and demands I learned that the base amount as $5000 for a contested divorce and $2000 each time it goes to court.  I was lucky that the lawyer I picked would take half down and payments for the next few months for the balance.

It occurred to me when I recalled earlier conversations with my wife asking if she would warn me before hand when she planned on filing for divorce so I could prepare myself.  She had refused to offer me a warning when I asked.  I persisted on asking for a warning and she agreed she would do what she could.  This came as a bit of a surprise since divorce had been on the table now for years.  What really surprised me about the cost was that she had gotten $7000 from her father and yet she left me unprepared.  I kept paying the bills for everything.  She kept keeping her wages and I was the one left unprepared to pay a lawyer.  I am convinced that the lack of notification was fully planned to make sure I could not hire a lawyer or a very good one at the least.  My family now has to lose benefits and I have to work harder to come up with the money for a lawyer to fight her unreasonable demands of wanting to walk away with only half custody of the kids, her whole paycheck and 40% of my paycheck.

I am hurt that she planned to have me unprepared. Any couple who marries should have a reserve fund started the day they are married for the divorce money they may need to end the marriage they just begun.  It should be like marriage insurance which has a monthly payment and held in trust as insurance the marriage will fail.

The decay of a marriage

My wife admitted to wanting to divorce before moving to Our current home 6 years ago. She wished she had divorced me prior to moving because of me being mad at her over finance mistakes she had made over ignoring finances.We discussed years earlier that we were more than tied with marriage but with the business and until the business was gone we could not truly divorce.

The house in new house was already commissioned to be built to hold us and the 1200 sq ft warehouse we had for the business in the new basement of our house. It would save money in the business and so the move proceeded. My wife admits to crying daily for months after the move. It was not until 5 years later she ever said she finally feel like this was home. She admits she loved the Old house best and state it was in house most of all and was happy there. I suspect she wished she could have divorced then and gone for the house then and had cash from my inheritance. I inherited a very large sum of money which was lost leaving the state and house we had as well as clearing out debts. She could have been and been done with me back then.
She is upset about her lost opportunity and proceeds to do as little as possible to ensure the shutdown of the business. Its demise means freedom for herself. I however have vowed divorce was not a answer when we were married by her request as a secondary marriage vow. She never made the agreement in return. She releases me from this obligation in hopes of obtaining a divorce. I threaten that bankruptcy would be a sure reason for divorce for me.

To her disappointment I did not file for divorce when we were forced into bankruptcy when the business failed. However I had requested repeatedly for her to get sinuses checked. She claims fear of surgery prevented her from even researching it. I in frustration began sleeping in basement to sleep at night. I found the ability to sleep at night in quiet and continued to sleep downstairs in the unfinished basement. Initially it was only after she fell asleep and we still had time together.

Disorder in her housekeeping, regular business travel to Oregon and jealousy over friends were points of conflict. It was leading me to sleep regularly in the basement and stop spending evenings together before bed. Divorce was not discussed until after My wife stated that she “thinks there is no long time hope for marriage” and asks what I really think. My response was to agree. That gave her hope that divorce is feasible and within reach which she has wanted since we moved.

She held out on divorce talk because of tax issues that needed to be resolved which she would be liable for. She held out until the last of the tax issues are resolved almost 2 years later. She plans her divorce filing to coincide with the last tax payment I would be making. During this time none of her wages from work were asked to be used for family expenses.

As her day approached to freedom she worked on her future life objectives. She has proceeded with surgery for her sinuses. This is years of her planning coming to fruition. She claims to have to leave me because she loves me so much and does not want to get her hopes up again. But is seem contradictory to love someone so much but not willing to help them sleep by seeing a doctor. She is very messy in her personal space. She loved me so much as to not willing to try to clean up after herself. She loved me so much that when asked if I would miss anything after a divorce and she could not answer that I would. If I would miss anything that it clearly that she tried very little to influence my life. I know I will miss the money I could have spent on my children that will have to go to support her new home.

The divorce is what she has plotted for for years. Taking every benefit she can along the way and deliberately making sure she did not encourage the marriage to get better while keeping up appearances of a civil marriage. She can without conscience or even a filing for divorce talk about her new home she is shopping for, buy furniture and appliances for her new house and take the children on trips to shop for a house and furnishings. She has even asked for my help to move the items purchased into the basement. I do not see much difference from that and dating for a new spouse and brining the new person home to meet the family.

We tried marriage counseling right after the bankruptcy. From marriage counseling I got an apology for what she had done bar all those years in the marriage and how she was not a good wife. However, apologies with no actual change in behavior are strategic moves to lead me on until the time was right to file HER divorce.

I am sick and tired of being taken for the fool. I have been led along for years and picked up any slack in household chores and maintenance, always seeing to things that needed my care. I had not given up on the marriage, though late January 2016 She admits she gave up on this marriage. She admitted to giving up on the business, she admitted to a whole host of bad behavior and admitted s to her passive aggressiveness. But most important she admitted to giving up on me.

Now to be fair; I have to semi that 10 years ago I had some gay encounters with other men. I had fully disclosed this to my wife when she saw an questionable email. We had recently at that time had our 4th child and I had already felt very deserted by her in the relationship. We had had our issues throughout the marriage. I began to realize that that time that the only reason a woman marries it to get financial support for HER children. Women only want money, a worker to care for her home and a sperm donor. I had been relegated to just that. However my state had then further been reduced to her being suspicious of me having any friends male or female.

For over 13 years I have stuck around when I have felt un appreciated, un loved and used only to get what she wanted. I was only a means to her end which was to have her kids. She wanted only them, never me. I was the vehicle for her goals. This was recently revealed to me when she demanded the $2500 a month she needed to support her in her own home after the divorce. When challenged she reveals her real motive. “Then I will go for full custody”. She never wanted me around even the last 10 years. I was to be the work horse for her ambitions. She did not leave me then, because she saw a man willing to continue to be the slave for her needs. I was a good asset still. However when the economy turned bad, business went sour and her home went on the market for sale. She then realized she should break the ties. However she was sunk in debt and trapped. Had she only left earlier.

My suspicions were confirmed last fall when I was asked to read a blog about a gay man who had a healthy relationship with his wife and a family. She was required to read this blog as part of a family class she was taking. I read his blog and my wife asked me if I thought that that was true and possible to have a healthy relationship with a money even if a man saw men as attractive. I agreed a man could and that we could. She confirmed that she had given up years ago because others kept telling her it was not possible. My suspicions were confirmed that she had given up on me and had been looking for an escape a decade earlier. Using me until I could be disposed of was her plan all along. If I had been loved at all there would be evidence of that. If I had been disabled who knows if things would have been any different except society frowns on a wife leaving a disabled spouse. However if your spouse is gay Christian people are the quickest to cast them aside and to virtually stone them to death. The funny thing about so called Christianity is that Christians use Judaism to justify their bad behavior just as the Jew used it to crucify Jesus Christ himself to which they choose to ignore his actual teachings. That leaves most Christians to be just half baked Jews who felt their messiah came and failed since they really don’t want to believe christs teachings and that he came to do away with the old law. They hold to the old law when it suits them.

I have been duped for years and finally figured it out. Really it was quite elementary deductions I had missed all those years.

Why women suck

I must start by saying that not all women fall into the category of a sucky person. However the more women I get to know the more I see a very manipulative gender who claim to be suppressed but have throughout the ages have found out how to control a large part of mankind through subversive methods. Recently the need for power and control was wooed many women out into the open. No longer needing to be subversive and manipulate men to have power but can outright take the power they feel they deserve.

This blog will focus on my own experiences of female interactions and how after 4 kids and almost 20 years of marriage I realize how I have been duped. I come from a traditionally raised background of conservative Mormonism and a large family of 8 kids. I was the youngest and had 3 siblings with 7 children old enough to be my own parents. I was 42 nieces and nephews being raised nearly my own age. I saw the interactions of their marriages. I myself having a high functioning autism have a magnificent memory and capability to recall fine details and have made a career of solving problems and being able to see solutions easily though logic. Logic that would blow no me to emotional torture and manipulation. I would be able to easily be swayed by my upbringing of eternal marriage and that through an eternal perspective I had a greater goal to work through problems. I was taught through 3 hrs of church and church classes a week to honor your wife, help and serve your wife and without her you can never reach mans greatest potential of becoming a god under out fatherly gods rule.

Thus it was imperative to do whatever was necessary to keep your relationship healthy. HOWEVER. I realized later in life this is hogwash. A plan concocted by women to keep their men in line. The best Mormon men are all pussy whipped and though to the outside world. It looks like the Mormon women are held down and not allowed authority, they indeed really “wear the pants” in the church and their homes.

Why would a women really want to take on the full role of the priesthood or head of household. Why do all that work when you can control the drone MAN into doing the work and doing what the women wants. If the women is good enough she can have her cake and eat it too.  This has been how women have controlled men and enjoyed their personal lifestyle. Though women choose their life style individually. Whether is be to scrapbook, leisure time, beautifying themselves, taking kids to park and enjoying childhood. It is their choice and as most women agree their RIGHT as women. Though I doubt many women will admit that they get the best end of the deal if they are not required to work. Women in general do get to enjoy statistically longer life and a lower level of stress than their male counterparts.

Men over the years have protested too little. They are so driven by their need for sex that they will do anything for a women who meets his usually small need for a regular ego boost. They have coined a few phrases such as the ball and chain which truly classifies marriage.

Take a good look at modern marriages in western society. Marriages is all about the bride. It’s her day. Rarely is the groom even discussed of involved in this special day. After watching every episode of David Tutera’s my fair wedding TV show with my daughters. I was disgusted at how little the groom had to do with anything but show up. My own daughters caught up in the hoopla talked of their wedding. I was quick to correct them that the wedding was unimportant. Who they were marrying and why was paramount. I told them there was to be no more talk of a wedding day unless first they could discuss the person they would marry, why the traights they wanted were important and what they were going to do to contribute to the marriage. That ended all discussion. Who wants to talk of reality when you can have your dreams. Disney sells the lie the best of life as a Princess. The modern woman is entitled, selfish, beautiful and to be worshipped. Anything less is unacceptable. Sadly enough men have given in to this. Mothers and fathers have raised daughters to be useless creatures without ambition except to trap a man and live happily ever after. For Mormon women to live forever with their man. And if they work it right, that man will be under their spell of control for eternity to make their life easy.

I however am sick and tired of being marriage to a lazy selfish woman who has ever since our first born child made it her job to do whatever she wanted, serving only her own needs and the needs of the children she wanted with complete disregard to the person who made her life easy and possible. My marriage is ending and the demands for money has begun. More than even is in the current budgets. I was TOLD I can just work harder to meet her demand so she could have her own home. This coming from a wife who spent the last 3 years working with a personal alotment of family money equal to her own full salary. i realize she had been planning the divorce for years and positioning herself to ditch me when in her best interest and be able to get the financial support she needed. Secretly plotting, passive agressively keeping her man plodding along paying down obligations incurred over economic downturns. Pushing her man away just enough to get her space and keep him out of the way but close enough to keep him paying. She used his dedication to the children to manipulate him for the children’s benefit while gaining her independence before the big power grab.

I intend to discuss my experiences through divorce proceedings as I watch what was just recently told to me as “I am divorcing you because I love you so much” turn to what I expect to be the reality. The truth of never loving me expect loving what I could give to her. The woman wants praise, titilation and money. Whether deserved or not. If you do not pay homage to the vagina and a women’s emotional demands she is quick to bite the hand that feeds her and demand all that the man has as punishment for his treachery. This is how the western world works. She gets what she wants and continues to do so even after no longer having to provide anything in return to the man but scorn. Why? Because male judges controlled by women made it so, politicians who were male made it so. Why? So they would not get the same punishment.

Marriage to women is like belonging to a brutal gang. Mess with the boss and you will get pummeled. If any other gang members don’t cover up and protect the boss then then will get pummeled to. Women are the bosses and they need to be overthrown.

Ever wonder why more and more men are turning gay. Because they cannot fathom a relationship with a woman.  Men’s relationships are most often or greater equality than a male women relationship. Why do lesbian relationships always have a masculine women? Because women are overlords by nature either direct or indirect and want to be in control. However the butchest of women who want public control are still manipulated by their submissive counterpart.